Family Values Statements: Prompts & Guide

Creating a family values statement brings focus to the principles that guide your family's choices, behaviours, and traditions. Whether you're establishing shared foundations for young children, navigating significant transitions, or preserving principles for future generations, a thoughtfully crafted values statement provides clarity and continuity. This practical guide offers structured prompts and templates to help your family articulate the beliefs that matter most, creating a meaningful reference point for decision-making and identity.

Why Create a Family Values Statement?

A family values statement is a written document that explicitly identifies and describes the core principles your family holds most important. Unlike rules that dictate specific behaviours, values statements articulate the underlying beliefs that inform how family members approach life and relationships.

Research from the Australian Institute of Family Studies shows that families with clearly articulated values tend to demonstrate greater resilience during challenges. When family members understand the principles that unite them, they navigate difficulties with shared purpose rather than fragmentation.

Beyond immediate benefits, values statements create continuity across generations. The Centre for Ageing Better notes that clearly articulated family values help older adults maintain a sense of identity and purpose, while providing younger generations with anchoring principles during rapid social change.

As a practical tool, family values statements:

Guide consistent decision-making across various situations
Provide clarity during family transitions and challenges
Create a framework for teaching children about principles rather than just rules
Establish foundations for meaningful family traditions
Offer continuity during geographic separations or major life changes

When to Develop Your Family Values Statement

While valuable at any time, certain life stages and transitions make creating or revisiting a family values statement particularly beneficial:

When forming a new family unit through marriage or partnership, a values statement helps establish shared understanding from the beginning. Different family backgrounds often mean different implicit values; making these explicit prevents misunderstandings and builds stronger foundations.

Before or after having children, values statements help parents align their approach to raising children with intentional principles rather than default patterns. The Parent-Infant Foundation emphasizes that clarity about family values supports consistent parenting approaches.

During significant transitions such as relocations, career changes, or children entering adolescence, revisiting values provides stability amid change. Values statements remind family members what remains constant even when circumstances evolve.

As part of legacy planning, documenting family values creates continuity between generations. When incorporated into broader legacy documentation, values statements help future generations understand not just what the family did, but why.

Structured Prompts for Identifying Core Values

Articulating values often proves challenging because they operate at a deeper level than daily activities. These guided prompts help surface and clarify your family's core principles:

Historical Reflection Prompts

What principles guided previous generations in your family? Consider grandparents, great-grandparents, or family stories that reveal consistent principles across time. Which of these values resonate with your current family? Which might you wish to reinterpret for contemporary circumstances?

What challenging experiences has your family weathered successfully? Difficult times often reveal core values through the approaches that sustained your family. What principles guided decisions during these challenges? What strengths emerged that reflect deeper values?

What family traditions hold special meaning? Analyse why certain traditions matter to your family. What underlying values do they express? For example, a tradition of Sunday dinners might reflect values of family connection and prioritizing relationships over other activities.

Current Experience Prompts

What makes you proud of your family? Identify moments when you've felt particularly proud to be part of your family. What values were being expressed in those moments? What principles were demonstrated through actions?

How do you make important decisions? Consider recent significant family decisions. What considerations consistently influence your choices? What questions do you ask yourselves when facing difficult options?

What behaviours receive praise in your family? The qualities you consistently recognize and celebrate reveal underlying values. Do you praise achievement, kindness, creativity, perseverance, or other qualities? These patterns indicate what your family truly values.

What topics generate the most enthusiasm in family conversations? Subjects that consistently energize family discussions often connect to core values. Do you become animated when discussing creative pursuits, social justice, intellectual ideas, outdoor activities, or other specific topics?

Future-Oriented Prompts

What principles do you most want to transmit to future generations? Imagine your family several generations forward. What values would you most want to remain consistent despite changing circumstances?

What contribution do you hope your family makes to the wider community? Your aspirations for your family's impact reflect core values. Do you hope your family contributes through service, innovation, preservation of tradition, creative expression, or other means?

What would you want others to genuinely say about your family? Imagine people outside your family describing what you collectively stand for. What would you hope they recognize as your defining principles?

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Family Values Statement Templates

Once you've identified potential core values through the prompts above, these templates help structure them into cohesive statements:

Brief Values List Format

THE [FAMILY NAME] FAMILY VALUES

We value INTEGRITY, believing that honesty and moral courage form the foundation of all worthwhile relationships.

We value CURIOSITY, approaching the world with wonder and commitment to lifelong learning.

We value COMPASSION, recognizing our responsibility to care for others and contribute to community wellbeing.

We value RESILIENCE, facing challenges with determination and viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth.

We value CREATIVITY, expressing ourselves authentically and finding innovative solutions to problems.

Created and affirmed by [family members' names] on [date]

To be revisited on [future date]

Narrative Statement Format

OUR FAMILY VALUES

The [Family Name] family believes that meaningful lives are built upon clearly understood principles. These core values guide our decisions, shape our traditions, and define what we stand for as a family:

CONNECTION: We prioritize genuine relationships within our family and broader community. We commit to being fully present with each other, creating space for both celebration and vulnerability, and maintaining bonds despite distance or disagreement.

GROWTH: We embrace continuous learning and development—intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. We view challenges as opportunities to develop character and skills, and we support each member's unique path toward their fullest potential.

CONTRIBUTION: We believe in using our abilities to improve the world around us. Whether through formal service, professional work, creative expression, or daily kindness, we seek to leave positive impacts on our communities.

STEWARDSHIP: We recognize our responsibility to care for resources entrusted to us—from financial assets to natural environments to family relationships. We make decisions considering long-term wellbeing rather than short-term convenience.

JOYFUL LIVING: We cultivate gratitude, humor, and appreciation for life's gifts. While acknowledging life's serious aspects, we choose to approach our days with optimism and to find delight in ordinary moments.

This statement represents our shared aspirations, not perfect achievement. We commit to supporting each other in living these values while extending grace when we fall short.

Crafted together on [date]

Values Definition Format

[FAMILY NAME] FAMILY VALUES FRAMEWORK

AUTHENTICITY means:

- Speaking truthfully and acting with integrity

- Acknowledging both strengths and weaknesses

- Respecting each family member's unique identity

- Making choices aligned with our deepest beliefs rather than external pressures

RESPONSIBILITY means:

- Fulfilling commitments reliably

- Accepting accountability for our actions and their consequences

- Contributing to family wellbeing according to ability

- Developing self-sufficiency while remaining interdependent

- Caring for resources wisely

COURAGE means:

- Standing for principles even when difficult

- Trying new experiences despite uncertainty

- Facing fears rather than being limited by them

- Speaking up against wrongdoing

- Admitting mistakes and making amends

[Continue with additional values as appropriate]

We recognize these values may express themselves differently across generations and circumstances, but their essence remains our family foundation.

Agreed upon by [names] on [date]

Involving All Family Members

Creating a truly representative family values statement requires thoughtful inclusion of all members, adapted to their ages and circumstances.

Age-Appropriate Participation

For young children (ages 3-7), simplify the process with concrete questions:

"What makes our family special?"
"What are the most important rules in our family?"
"When do you feel happiest with our family?"

Their responses can be interpreted into values language by adults while honoring their perspectives.

For older children and teens (ages 8-17), the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children recommends more direct involvement:

Include them in full family discussions
Invite them to draft sections independently
Ask them to identify values they see demonstrated in family life
Encourage them to question or challenge proposed values

For adult family members living separately, create opportunities for meaningful input:

Share draft documents for review before finalizing
Schedule video discussions if in-person meetings aren't possible
Consider how their unique life experiences might inform the family values
Acknowledge different interpretations of shared values across generations

Handling Disagreements Constructively

When values discussions reveal different priorities or interpretations:

Listen deeply to understand the underlying concerns rather than debating specific wording
Look for higher-level principles that might encompass seemingly different values
Consider including both perspectives rather than forcing consensus
Recognize that some values may be held more strongly by certain family members than others
View disagreement as healthy engagement rather than failure

The Relationships Australia organization notes that constructive conflict during values discussions often strengthens family bonds by deepening mutual understanding.

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Using Your Family Values Statement Effectively

Creating your statement is just the beginning. These practices help integrate values into family life:

Display your values statement prominently in your home where family members will regularly see it. Some families create artistic versions, frame printed copies, or incorporate values into home décor.

Reference values explicitly during family decisions, using language like, "Since we value education, how should we approach this homework challenge?" This practice helps children connect abstract principles to concrete situations.

Create regular review occasions, perhaps annually or during significant family transitions. The Family Action Centre suggests using family milestones or New Year traditions as natural opportunities for values reflection.

Develop traditions that embody specific values. If generosity is a core value, establish regular family service activities. If creativity matters, institute family projects that allow artistic expression.

Incorporate values language into daily appreciation. When acknowledging family members' positive actions, connect them explicitly to values: "I noticed you helped your brother with his project—that really demonstrated our value of kindness."

Secure family values storage

Preserving your family values statement for future reference and generations requires thoughtful storage:

Digital preservation approaches:

Save in multiple formats (PDF, Word, plain text) for future compatibility
Store copies in several locations (cloud storage, family devices, email archives)
Include with other important family documents in secure digital vaults
Consider services specifically designed for family legacy preservation

Physical preservation methods:

Create multiple printed copies on acid-free paper
Store with other important family documents
Consider creating display versions and archival versions
Include with estate planning documents where appropriate

Next Steps: Creating Your Statement

Begin your family values process with these manageable steps:

Schedule a specific time for initial family discussion, ensuring it's when people are relaxed and not rushed
Start with positive reflection by asking each person to share what makes them proud of the family
Use 3-5 prompts from this guide to generate initial thoughts
Identify patterns and themes in the responses
Draft a simple statement based on these themes
Allow time for reflection before finalizing
Plan a meaningful way to formalize your completed statement

Your family values statement need not be perfect or comprehensive. What matters most is that it authentically reflects what your family truly stands for—the principles that guide your lives and the legacy you wish to create together.

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Family Values Statements: Prompts to Define What You Stand For